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From now on   
12:10pm 03/11/2002
 
mood: melancholy
This will be a private journal... For the time beeing I need it this way.		  
     
 
So Miserable!   
10:27am 29/10/2002
 
mood: gloomy
Maybe it's just the birth control pills; maybe the holidays coming I don't know. I'm SO MISERABLE lately. I don't feel like writing, I don't feel like talking, I don't feel like doing a whole hell of a lot of anything lately.
I haven't updated my journal in days. Fuck it. I don't have anything to say anyway, I did but once I find myself here, I grow a blank or at least pretend too. I hate it that I fell I can't be completely honest or be my true self here because I know other people read this journal. Ahhh! This bites ass, I hate the fucking holidays, hate winter, why did Jason leave???		  
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11:55pm 27/09/2002
 
mood: curious
music: the cure!
have you ever seen a great dane up close? oh man....they're huge! i had dinner with some friends last night and one of the hosts had a great dane (and a very cute jack russel, too). i had never actually hung out with a great dane.
you think that they're big. yes, they're big.
but they're even bigger. and gentle. i played with this great dane. i even played the 'try to take my bone away' game (which most dogs aren't too fond of) and he was even happy to play this game. gentle giant. his paws were bigger than the jack russels head. his paws were bigger than my head. what a giant dog. he could destroy a piano just by wagging his tail. ok, i'm exaggerating. but he could damage a piano with his tail. if he were really, really wagging. and if it were a comparatively crappy piano. which it wasn't.
which is too illustrate greed. like when you pay someone double what they actually paid for their stupid puppet. 'tadpoles is a winner'. speaking about huge, i hear jez found herself a great dane of her own... oh' i just heard about it... let me go read about it, i also heard she wrote all about it in her LJ...hmmm		  
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If I must   
11:18pm 24/09/2002
 
mood: pessimistic
music: DM
1. What are yr initials? a.l.o.
2. What do you wish your name was, instead: i like me name
3. How are you: very well, thank you
4. Would you ever eat sushi?: na
5. Would you ever eat sushi off a naked body?: since you put it that way, maybe
6. Have you considered homosexuality?: i have
7. What's your sexual preference?: men
8. What were you in a past life?: a painter
9. I punch you. Quick, what do you do?: hey, no violence
10. When confronted with Britney Spears, you...?: pretend shes not there, is she there?
11. What's your favorite coffee?: french vanilla
12. What's your political perspective?: green party
13. Are you my Angel?: sure
14. Do you consider yourself a poet?: i use to be
15. What do you wanna be when you grow up?: a film producer
16. There's a naked man in your living room. What do you do?: is the naked man my boyfriend?
17. How stupid do you think you are?: not stupid at all
18. How stupid do other people think you are?: they don't
19. Who the hell do you think you are?: i'm me
20. Is the Wonderbra good or bad?: good
22. What's your favorite fruit?: cherries
23. Can you feel the love tonight?: yes
24. On a nude beach, you would...?: sleep on the sand
25. Make up a story with yourself: i don't have a good imagination
26. What do you think about contemporary art?: i like all kinds of art
27. Do you like being naked?: yes
28. If we had proof God didn't exist, what would happen?: don't feel like getting into this at the time
29. Do you enjoy cheeze whiz?: yes, with crackers
30. What's your position on virginity?: oh, not have an opinion
31. On civil unions: ??
32. On RuPaul: damn he is tall
33. On mosquito bites: yuck hate them
34. On bad sitcoms: hate TV
35. On Fran Drescher: i hate her voice
36. Are you left/right handed? left
37. Are you loud during sex? have been
38. What's your middle name?: laydie
39. How many personalities do you have?: 3 that i know of
40. How many piercings do you have?: two
41. What was your first word?: dad
42. Are you superstitious?: yes
43. Do you read your horoscope?: no
44. Do you believe in that stuff?: no
45. Can you do a cartwheel?: only half way
46. Do you have contact lenses?: no
47. Do you have a retainer or braces?: no
48. Can you drive?: yes
49. Do you snore?: no
50. Do you drool in your sleep?: no, yuck
51. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: lick always lick
52. Do you keep a journal?: now i do
53. Do you like onions?: no
54. Do you like cotton candy?: no
5. What instruments can you play?: drums
56. Do you like to dance?: yes
57. Do you like to sing?: yes
58. Are you any good at it?: nope
59. Do you like to talk on the phone?: yes
60. Do you like where you live?: yes, finally got rid of josh >:)
61. Are you organized?: yes
62. Do you sleep with socks on?: yes
63. Are you shy?: no
64. Do you talk to yourself?: no
65. Are you a morning person?: yes
66. Are you a virgin?: no
67. Are you proud of that?: n/a
68. Do you believe in reincarnation?: yes
69. Do you believe in God?: yes
70. Do you believe in ghosts?: no
71. Do you believe in bigfoot?: no, stupid
72. How old do you wish you were?: 21, that was a fun age
73. What will you name your daughter?: laneina
74. Son?: bret
75. Have you ever thought you were gonna die?: yes
76. Where do you wanna go?: to ed's on sat.		  
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stupid is as stupid does...   
11:08pm 23/09/2002
  i think that if your job was to name new products you would be pretty happy.
i have some new type of ibuprofen-style pain medicine here (from when i sprained my ankle for the 800th time) called 'celebrex'.
the linguistic semiotic associations...
cerebral
celebreties
celebrating
ecstatically
with nice hair from pleasant shampoo. ok, i don't know how the shampoo part fits in. breck?
bertolt breck the shampoo magnate?
in his spare time he wrote such dramatic classics as 'mother courage and her children' and musical masterpieces like 'mack the knife', but his true love was bringing high-quality, affordable hair care products to the proletarian masses. although his foray into the working-class snack food market, the appropriately named 'berties', didn't fare quite so well.
yes, i know it's brecht.it's late. i'm just being stupid.
can't a man be stupid every now and then?
or even more often than not?
or even the vast majority of the time?
is it really such a big deal to opt for some good, old-timey stupidity?		  
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damn, mtv   
07:02pm 21/09/2002
  ah boy...
a friend of mine just called me up and reminded me that mtv2 has courtney love as a guest host for 24 hours.
so there's courtney flirting with albert from the strokes and talking about having a fish in her underpants.
and now there's ryan adams singing a song while a friend of courtneys is rubbing her groin.
all of the editorializing in the world can't do justice to this. and the english language is inadequate for not having a word that means 'compelling, embarrassing, and slightly glorious train-wreck'.
ah boy.
and now there are commercials for deoderant and a nu-metal compilation sponsored by maxim magazine. ah boy.
i guess it's time to turn off the tv		  
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09:09am 17/09/2002
 
mood: determined
I've had this journal now for some time now, but simply refuse to write in it. i find it disturbing that i know for a fact that my friends will read it and worst enough comment. i guess i don't mind so much that they will read it but the comment part does bug me. i have been reading their journals but i won't comment at all. my boyfriend has a problem with me having this online journal, because of what I may write on it about us, him, etc., but I will not hold back, I got now I must put good free use to it and I will. First of many entries to come.		  
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addelaine
 
 

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